DEDICATION OF A DECADE
by Jeremy Danté
never has a complexity to cope rendered such beauty as this. and as a concept, that beauty transcended and bled into my life and off the screen, in ways that i never dreamed manifestation would ever even allow possible. a decade ago, i sat in my loft apartment, with nothing but time and a sense of desperation to cope. to cope with the longing sense of belonging, to my then boyfriend, and ex-fiancé. measured to a standard that was so far past perfection it seemed impossible to reach. challenged in ways, emotionally barred and held captive to a commitment that served none, but one. and as he spent his nights away, drug induced; leaving my line tied with unanswered calls, vague text message and fragmented fears of loss that was all but avoidable.
and so every time i missed him, i wrote. in this space, i filled empty promises with information, and lonely days that turned to lonely weeks and weekends that felt that they would never end. i did that in this space. an outlet towards the inward, this space filled with information due to lack of communication, and what made me feel less than transformed into what was realized as my being better than. taking shape and strengthening in that form, was you. and with you, we grew together. and invisibility became a light. so we grew, and learned here. we learned of process- of casting, campaigns, themes and culture. culture thrived in spaces where our light was seemingly dimmed. and on the glossy pages of all the fashion magazines that we thumbed through, digitally, in this space- the editorial textures of girls of industry standard- those things blurred the blemishes of my everyday reality.
the reality of new york city seemed distant, though it happened. that guy, that old boyfriend, that expired fiancé- he never wanted me to go to new york. but i did. but only following a six year period of visit, reflect, deflect and reject. the process was liberation and in that liberation, there was new love. never fleeing without challenge or the tug and pull of loss and light, love and linger- there i was, still in this space, each step of the way. what i wrote seemed to become reality. and as chopped as i configured the context, someone always read through it. a boy avoiding moments of missing his emotionally unavailable boyfriend, turned to glittering lights on a world stage in the number one market in the world. and so it is, my greatest dedication was not for the unavail of my then, wrongly regarded, love. my greatest dedication was not to fashion, nor the models- but it was to myself. and in that came triumph. the beauty that i defined in others was only allowable by the ways i was able to identify the same in myself. for without the root, there could be no tree- intended examples to demonstrate growth. and you, my reader, the one who continued to read and to understand the message- you’ve acted as the water while i was the sun. because the sun can overpower, and burn- it can kill, but it can grow. and my dedication of self, today, is a gesture of true gratitude.
gratuitously, your generosity to me has guided me lovingly and back to the light. creatively recognized, and crowned, in subtle yet powerful ways. your silence has been stronger in moments that allowed my voice to be heard. and when i sat in silence, your responses broke the night and struck through the days where there was nothing but rain. models saved and paved the way, in their careers we’ve watched and applauded. beyond photos, and in-between characters of runway and composition- we love and live here. a decade later, what has trailed away has highlighted who has stayed. glowing beyond the surface, lies the true beauty- which doesn’t fade. forever is tangible, and love lives forever in this space. heroes are female, and men are silent in ways that build women to greatness through understanding of cultural codes and yes, strength. here, vulnerability straddles displays under lights soundtracked to bass and digital sounds which show each season. it’s beyond fashion, and in the interweaving greatness of style. it’s personal, and private, yet shared with many for worlds over to see and to discover on their own time.
exists here, no ownership, only relationship. not limited to fine print, only limited to expression of true artistry. a grain on a photograph, a meticulously altered face, but a striking glance into the lens of who we are together, and also even apart. a decade of dedication to only mark a beginning. and no fears of an ending even call to question the present, because the time that we’ve shared was never forced- but always self imposed. leaving the exposed as, again, a way to cope. but not to the unemotional, but to the sense of art. art of self, art of discovery. love of the depth, admiration of the darkness and closeness of the delicate in a way that no added light is needed. rich and boundless, this love will live forever- in you and me, and together we will be, dedicated.
to all who have lived, loved and endured in this space.
may you continue to find and share inspiration for yourself and others.
this dedication serves in your honor.